Tech Support's Nightmare Printer Setup

If people could only hear how dumb they sound when they talk to me. I'm talking to a guy who needs to reinstall his printer.

Me: Start - settings - printers

Caller: Start - settings - control panel. I don't see printers

Me: umm - I said Start - settings - printers. The words "control panel" never left my mouth.

Caller: Sorry - I'm in printers. What now?

Me: Click once on your printers icon so it's highlighted.

Caller (clickclick) - OK, it's open

Me: You clicked twice. I asked you to click once. Close it and start again.

Caller: Ok - I clicked once. It's highlighted.

Me: good - press the delete key on the keyboard.

Caller: Delete?? where is that??

Me: ummm, on the keyboard. It says either "delete" or "del"

Caller: I don't see it

Me: Look harder

Caller: ohhhhh - there it is. Press it???

Me: (no - look at it idiot) Yes, press it.

Caller: It says "are you sure". Am I sure??

me: Yes, you're sure....

Caller: You're sure about that??

Me: Just click yes

Caller: Ok - Oh No - I'm defaulted. What did you do??

Me: no - it's just saying the new printer is XXXX

Caller: oh ok, got scared. what now??

Me: Get out the floppy disks for your printer

Caller: Huh?? Where are they??

Me: ummm, I dunno - try the bottom right hand drawer of your desk???

Caller: I don't have a right hand drawer

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