Newbie Buys A Computer

CSO: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

Newbie: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

CSO: Mac?

Newbie: No, the name’s Lou.

CSO: Your computer?

Newbie: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

CSO: Mac?

Newbie: I told you, my name’s Lou.

CSO: What about Windows?

Newbie: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

CSO: Do you want a computer with Windows?

Newbie: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

CSO: Wallpaper.

Newbie: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

CSO: Software for Windows?

Newbie: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals and track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

CSO: Office.

Newbie: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

CSO: I just did.

Newbie: You just did what?

CSO: Recommend something.

Newbie: You recommended something?

CSO: Yes.

Newbie: For my office?

CSO: Yes.

Newbie: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

CSO: Office.

Newbie: Yes, for my office!

CSO: I recommend Office with Windows.

Newbie: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

CSO: Word.

Newbie: What word?

CSO: Word in Office.

Newbie: The only word in office is office.

CSO: The Word in Office for Windows.

Newbie: Which word in office for windows?

CSO: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.

Newbie: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

CSO: Money.

Newbie: That’s right. What do you have?

CSO: Money.

Newbie: I need money to track my money?

CSO: It comes bundled with your computer.

Newbie: What’s bundled with my computer?

CSO: Money.

Newbie: Money comes with my computer?

CSO: Yes. No extra charge.

Newbie: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

CSO: One copy.

Newbie: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

CSO: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

Newbie: They can give you a license to copy money?

CSO: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

CSO: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

Newbie: How do I turn my computer off?

CSO: Click on “START"

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