Tech Support Humor It Doesn't Print

Customer: I just put a new cartridge in my printer, and then I tried to print something, and it didn't work.

Customer: It moved and made noises, but nothing happened to the paper.

Me: Okay, let's start by looking at the cartridge. Would you pop it out of the printer, please?

Customer: Take it out?

Me: Yes, please.

Customer: Take it out of the printer?

Me: Yes, please.

Customer: You want to me to go over there and take the cartridge out?

Me: YES, please take the cartridge out of the printer.

Customer: Okay. How do I do that?

Me: You pull the top part towards you until it unsnaps, just the opposite of the way you put it in.

Customer: Are you sure you want me to do that?

Me: Yes, I'm sure.

Customer: I don't want to break anything. Are you sure it's okay to do that?

Me: YES, I'm sure.

Customer: Okay, it's out. Now what?

Me: Is there a bright yellow pull tab with a black arrow on it on the bottom of the cartridge, attached to a bright blue piece of tape that covers up the print nozzles so they don't dry up before you install it?

Customer: Yes.

Me: Okay, how about if we pull that tape off, then?

Customer: You want me to pull the tape off?

Me: Yes, please.

Customer: Both pieces?

Me: YES, please.

Customer: Okay, it's off now.

Me: Well, is the cartridge back in the printer now?

Customer: No. Do you want me to put the cartridge back in now?

Me: YES, please.

Customer: How do I do that?

Me: You put the bottom in first, then push the top straight back until it snaps into place. You know, the opposite of how you took it out. The same way you put it in the last time, okay?

Customer: Okay.

Me: Did you put the cartridge back in yet?

Customer: You want me to go over and do that now?

Me: YES, please.

Customer: Okay, it's in now.

Me: Okay. Now, what's up on your screen?

Customer: My screen?

Me: You know, your computer screen. What's on your screen now?

Customer: Well, there's a teddy bear on there.

Me: Okay, what program are you in right now?

Customer: Program?

Me: Right. What program are you in that's giving you the teddy bear?

Customer: My boyfriend gave it to me.

Me: Your boyfriend gave you the program? What program is it?

Customer: No, my boyfriend gave me the teddy bear. That's why I put it up there where I could see it all the time.

Me: OKAY, but what program is running on your computer right now?

Customer: Oh, I don't have my computer turned on right now.

Me: Well, you could you please turn it on so we can make sure you'll be able to print okay now?

Customer: Oh, I can't do that now.

Me: You can't turn your computer on now?

Customer: No, because I only have the one phone line.

Me: So...?

Customer: So it's hooked up to the hard drive thingie too, and that means I can't turn it on when I'm talking to somebody, right?

Me: Oh, um, right. Okay, well, then just go ahead and turn on the computer as soon as we hang up, and then call us back if it doesn't print correctly this time, okay?

Customer: Okay.

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