Tech Support Humor - My Computer's Slow!

Let's play with the MUTE button a bit. For those that don't know - we have a mute button that allows us to hear you, but you cannot hear us - We use it to say the things that would get us fired without you hearing us - we do this a lot, as this call will demonstrate. Muted words are in italics

Caller: "My computer is slow"

Me: When did this start?

Caller: Right after I installed Microsoft Office

Me: How much Ram do you have??

Caller: I don't know

Me: Of course not, why would you know a silly thing like that?? Let's check (only 8mb). You'll need more ram

Caller: I need more ram???

Me: Did I stutter?? Yes - you need to upgrade

Caller: But the clerk said this computer would work.

Me: Three years ago, maybe Yes, but that program is using to much of your memory - you'll need more. Please don't try to do this yourself

Caller: I can do this myself, right??

Me: Heh heh - Grog smart - Grog open computer If you wish - are you sure you know how?

Caller: Well - it's easy, right - what do I need??

Me: Grog confused - Grog use hammer Just the chips and a screwdriver.

Caller: Chips??? I have to buy them???

Me: Yes Gro..I mean Ebeneezer - break that wallet open Ummm - yes - you really should take this to a professional.

Caller: No - I'll go get me some "chips" now - I can do this.

Me: Talk to you in an hour Ok sir - goodbye.

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